tomorrow is sunday.
the day after tomorrow is DOOMSDAY!
hahaha just kidding.
it would be money.
startin work then.
earning 5.5/hr.
lol. not fantastic, still i just wanna get experience.
so that i can ask for higher pay when i join other related jobs.

oh boring.
first day of new year and we left at about 6pm.
just played some cards, no traditional mahjong.
ah man first day, supposed to be the most exciting, started off feebly.
sigh.

medical checkup is on 9th march.
somehow i feel that my polytechnic education is really a waste of time and money.
because i didnt have the interest to do whatever.
maybe i dont have the interest now. hopefully in the future, yes.
the thing is, i feel that i am neither here nor there.
my polytechnic results isnt that fantastic.
but at least, i can qualify for several business degree courses, with exemptions to boot.

infact, i feel intimidated by those who tend to be more inclined academically..
its still the paper chase.

its in me.. inculcated in me.. i think.
since primary school, my form teacher told us along the line that we will be in the university at how old blah blah blah and that we will all go to the university.
at that time, i had my doubts.
i am already doubting myself in primary school, whether i can really make it to a local university, because i know that competition is very keen.
especially after those in the EM1 stream being so intelligent and their ability to just do last minute work and still do well.. like 90+.. yeah that kind.. which i found to be very .. inhuman like.

and i remembered my primary 4 friends, some of them went to EM1, some whose parents opted for them to go to the EM1 stream..
and of course.. they were allowed to go, provided that they meet certain requirements..
and yeah..
i remember that those in the EM1 stream had their noses up in the air..
like they were superior so they were in that stream..
as if we were inferior beings..
as if we were lesser than them in all aspects..
this is so reflected in the movie by jack neo, i not stupid.
i would like to say its an excellent movie, the vibes and feelings of those in the lesser stream were really portrayed to a point of realism.
it shows the prejudices and biasness against em3 students..
i was from em2 btw...
but i know.. how it feels like to be biased against.
to want to fight against the torrents and torrents of criticism, of cynicism, sarcasm.

lol. of course i understand based on a different context. not academically because i personally have not encountered direct remarks that 'i am stupid, you are worthless', that kinda thing.
only in direct ones.. like those i've encountered through interaction with other schools..
other 'better secondary schools, and in better subject combinations, and with better PSLE scores..'.
with all the good, naturally comes with the bad..
for one they are extremely stuck up..
like they gt something stuck up their asses..
or smth in their noises that only the UV rays from the sun can relieve them; so they point it towards the direction of the sun..

its just so lame.=.=

i think this is an extremely random post.
im sorry if you had to read this crap by me.
im just feelin tired and feelin in need of typing something to partially
relieve a .. boulder in me.

one so huge i don't think i can ever come clean about.

there a few things in the world that can be truly devastating, one of course, is called addiction.
addiction can manifest in many forms, from the 'no have will die', to the 'no have wont die but make life hell', and the 'no have wont die, wont make life hell but make life boring'.

well yeah, u get the point.
i am lucky that i belong to the lesser of the abovementioned 3 evils, because i am currently hooked onto prison break.
sure, i wont die without it.
sure, i wont have hell without it.
sure, life is boring without it.

and so, i guess a little indulgence aint bad.
after all, its only man to indulge in his indulgence, whatever the latter might be.

its.. the 19th valentines day i experienced since birth..
and why am i blogging about this totally unrelated event today?
i duno
i tink cuz many pple blogging thats why im doing it too
blah

its barely the first day of holidays, and i am already feeling totally slacked and totally ... aimless?
bah, i need a job. real soon.
after CNY i need to go work..
hahaha for whatever reason, at least it beats being at home all day with no income..

speaking of CNY.. its coming soon..
this weekends..
HEEEEHAAAA
lookin forward to more hongbaos.
but obviously i dun mean more redpackets, i just meant that the hongbaos will come from deeper pockets heh.
so its quality over quantity.
oh yeah.

and oh results are out on the 7th of March.
how would i fare? o.O no idea.

check back on 7th march. lol.

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!
ITFD IS OVER!
i think i didnt do well
but HACK I CAN FUCKING PASS ALL MODULES THIS SEM!
WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO
ITS HOLIDAYS!
9 weeks of pure madness and an operation to spend money till im broke.
JK of cuz ill find work
hah.
prolly after new year lor.
now is fun TIME!

went to visit my little niece today.
she just turned one, and its extremely joyful to see her playing innocently, with not a care in the world.
thats childhood i suppose :D

hahaaahhaha.
words dont do her justice.
looks like i need to work on getting more pictures and uploading them for y'all to see.

hahahahhahahaa
i am so pleased at myself that i finally decided to give my tired brain and body a good nights rest.
why punish myself further when its only ITFD that is standing in the way to a blissful holiday~

and AFA was a 'breeze', if i'm allowed to use that word in the first place. those tough questions in tutorials DID not come out. man, i actually revised and almost went bonkers 2 hours before the exams in the study room at SP. i was expecting more of a challenge for the paper to work the brain of mine. but im sure it wasnt fully utilised, not as much as MA, even though the latter was considerably easier but extremely tricky.

but seriously, ITFD is nothing much to be worried about, no long journal entries that i thought would be coming out in AFA2, inwhich i memorised by killing my brain cells; its just finding the whatever rate and whatever buy back rate, something which i have already learned by constantly practicing AFA2 tutorials.

hah. and so, with the finishing of AFA2, comes a time of disbelief; some of my classmates for 6 semesters would probably not step into SP again. they would probably be in a new phase of their life, either by working, doing their degrees full time or part time. in short, school would never be the same again. in fact, school, means university, and with it comes with many responsibilities, even more so when u do your diploma course because u know without a diploma you have limited career choices, but without a degree and WITH a diploma, you can do things and still make it big.

a safe level has been established - a diploma - to lay back upon because you have earned it with 6, almost torturing semesters.

thats for the lucky girls, who are not liable for national service.

but for us.. the guys..
it aint so rosy.
firstly we have to spend 2 yrs in the army.
advantage girls.

next, we lose out on experience or higher learning
advantage girls.

but the bright side is that we'll be mentally stronger and tougher.... i think.
and so its advantage guys.

doesnt sound so bad after all.

and so with the cumulation of all frustrations and anger and boredom and whats not, ends with ITFD paper on thursday.

and then, ill see my classmates smiling and beaming from ear to ear, faces similar to what i saw to my classmates who do not have the ITFD elective, filled with positive thoughts that they can leave the place they call their tertiary institute.
and of course, its not all gloom.
we'll take away happy memories and the strong friendship bonds that were cemented in our polytechnic years, both as a class, and on an individual scale.

i used to say i detest accounting. that still stands, but not all areas of accounting.
i especially detest cost accounting, still having reservations about taxation, but quite positively find financial accounting a joy to do.

so anyway, after graduation in 1 semesters time, i am positive that i would not do ACCA.
1. its tough =.= dun wanna go through the hell in year 2 again.
2. its a specialised course. or rather, a professional degree. lest i want to leave the profession, i would have to start from scratch; doesnt concern me cause i dont wanna start in that profession anyway.
3. its f.a.r from my place =.= ok fine, SP may be also far from my home in tampines and ive been travelling to SP for like 6 semesters, but thats only because its a direct MRT there and i dont have to switch to other trains and buses to get to SP.

and so this is a SAD post, a post of leaving my comfort zone.
6 semesters zoomed past me, in the bat of an eye lid.
and in 2004, when i enrolled as a student in SP i thought, wth, how am i going to envision myself taking 2 over hours a day travelling to SP?!

and in 2005, later 2005 infact, i think i slipped into a depression, some what.
i suddenly lost interest in everything. i just want to come home everyday after school, and use the computer to vent my frustrations ONLINE.
and it didnt help that at that time, all my friends were just attached, so they spent alot of time with their partners, and be, being alone, was left to my own devices.

and school at that time, positively sucked. i was struggling in all my modules, passing borderline or failing colourfully. this had a huge impact on me. i began to feel worthless and whats the point in living. suicide of course, did not cross my mind, even though i had flashes of it.

and so the lack of social interaction, lack of at that time, friends, my doing badly in school, my have no interest at whatever modules i do, and my attributed to the mild depression
i remember that period of time, weekends didnt seem fun. i stayed at home all day.
so my year 2, as what i remembered, is ... well bad.

but its over, year 3 is much better. went out with my friends more, made more friends in poly, built stronger friendship with poly friends and yeah, overall year 3 is much better than year 1 and 2 combined.

and so i'm babbled too much, time to go do something else rather than hogging on bloggers bandwidth.
till then.

lol. could be a home induced depression.

i am at a cross roads in life.
should i continue to do accounting shit after my polytechnic education, or should i continue business, or should i head to MDIS to take hons in biomedical sciences.

i am extremely confused and yes, i am weighing my pros and cons for each of the above mentioned alternatives.
i always believe you should like what you are doing, and that to pursue it because you are living your life.
but then, i do not know if i really like biomedical sciences or biology.
accounting even though is not fun to study, but at the end of the day, when it comes to mugging, it gets so much easier because its based on a logical concept. and of course, your hands will be spared from the barrage of words that you need to unleash when u take other humanities or other scientific modules where by you have to EXPLAIN.

oh fug it, maybe ill do a business degree after all.
I'll have to check out the various degrees on offer though, not sure if i want to do do something for 3 years that i do not like, and start to regret and bore my friends with my incessant nagging about the wrong choices that i have and how fate has dealt me a cruel blow each time i choose to further my education at a certain institute.

so far i am considering several universities, including SIM, SMU. NUS and NTU, both are out of the question due to the simple fact that my GPA isnt good enough to quality for them.
nevertheless, i believe other private universities offer degrees as recognised as the local universities, although the cost may be a deterrent..

i seriously do not know if i realy want to do accounting.
i HATE to say it but.. i actually enjoy mugging for accounting especially when u have the answers and questions side by side, and when you do get the correct answer, you really feel you're at the top of the world.
i guess this is just a temporary syndrome.
its just so funny that normal tutorials bore me because 1. i dont do them.
2. most of the time i duno wat the teacher is talking about
3. i just feel so bored and feel so irritated by the different adjustments and whatever shit.

but HEY, i like accounting already. suddenly adjustments seem so fun. suddenly mugging seems nice.
i guess at the end of the day, its the reward that counts.
i just do not see any thing positive from doing your tutorials, not to mention loss of playing time and wasting of your brain my cramming digits after digits.
however, when it comes to the exams, you really have the impetus to just study and study because you can actually see how it directly influences your grade. tutorials, according to me, does not have that kind of 'power' to influence your grade, even though practice and consistency is something everyone would preach; I WANT INSTANT GRATIFICATION!
hah, the perils of living in the IT era, where everything can be gotten almost instantly online.
you kill someone at the click of the mouse.
you jump by pressing the 'space bar'
you get a spell by pressing a 'hot key'



speaking of today, yes, i was at woodlands library, because i finally felt so extremely guilty about not going there yesterday and not doing much revision then. only did about 4 questions late last night and felt that the entire day was wasted, even though i i thought i needed a 'well-deserved' break. apparently the 'well-deserved' break is so long that i am now miserably behind revision time. i need to run through another round of revision, which should take shorter time, because i already know what to do, just needed to refresh my memory and remember some last minute things.

oh and yes today was FUN!
everyday at the Woodlands Library was FUN and IS fun and WILL be fun.
i do not know why but i suddenly feel that poly is a nice place to be.

OH CRAPS.
my mom just asked me to stop, and made the remark that 'poly will be over in a few days'
bah =.= i guess i have to break the news to her that i would be graduating so fast after all.
man. i feel guilty about not telling her the truth now.
this sucks =(

procrastination rules.
not that i like it
but its every part of me.
sometimes i hate to procrastinate.
but sometimes i find it useful, because

1. u push something to do to the back of ur mind.
2. u can find things to do to relax urself and forget that thing.

but well, of course im not doing things to forget my AFA paper and ITFD paper though.
its just because i need a break from studying, like how i didnt go to woodlands library to study today.
figured i need the break from full time mugging as well as savings from the fare that comes from the bus 168 i take to woodlands.
10 bucks can be spent in like 3 days, travelling to and fro from woodlands.
the irony is that i HAVE train concession, but however its too long a ride to take the train from tampines all the way to woodlands, some 1 hour and 15mins!
so i made a choice to take the bus which even though costs more, but it saves me precious time..
money can be earned but time cannot!
u can only lose time not u cannot lose money because u can still earn it back.
oh hmm
AFA on monday. i dont' know if i can do well or whatever, hack.
i just want to pass. a D would be nice?
oh and the handful of tips that are given, courtesy of mr caleb lye HAVE to be reviewed.
because 1. they are all crumpled together..
2. i have been doing ONLY the tutorials without reference to the tips given, so i dont know if what i'm doing is correct or if its coming out for the exams.
3. THE GOD DAMN FRS!
ahhh.. and business combination..
and i thought i am already half way there in AFA2..
now it seems its just a mere thought.
oh well.

until thursday then its holiday for me.
heh heh heh.
work will come!
i need the $$ to buy stuff and .. idk just do about anything.
after all even though money is NOT everything, u cannot do anything much without money.
especially when its the holiday season, when money seems to trickle in your wallet, but then roll out like an avalanche when u walk down orchard road, or when u leave the safety of your house w/o any expenditure needed.

oh and my dota game has started.
HAW HAW HAW tag me babes and hunks!