This IS another update.
Oh, its pretty early in the morning ^^
Lets just say im bored, and i want some thing to do.
Hell ya i'll sleep before 4, thats fo sho.
Holidays are coming to an end.
This is, a reflection of what i have done during the holidays.

Playing Final Fantasy, Warcraft III: Frozen Throne, watching the tube.
Oh, and not to mention, sleeping.

I havent met my friends since god knows when.
Probably before the start of the hols, or even before the start of exams.
Oh yes.
Staying at home for 4 whole weeks clearing has its good side and bad side.
At least i get to unwind, like TOTALLY.
Spending my holidays aimlessly, enjoying it while it lasts.
After this holiday, i would not have any more major ones.
Just a couple of 1 week breaks and school and attachment and soon, its January and i'll be graduating from SP.
Soon later, NS.
And yes, speaking of home.
I am now rather sick of it.
That would be the result of sticking at home too often.
I find my self staying at home for up to a few days at a stretch.
Oh yes.
Seriously, ive wondered how my friends are doing.
It has been a long time since i have met them.
Some of which, i still contact them for playing warcraft etc.
Most of them, just seem to disappear from my life.

I am becoming more anti-social.
I don't know why >.<
Probably because im so god damn un motivated and perhaps little interest in my course?
lol.
The answers can be many.
What i can attribute to is being lazy.
Plain lazy.
These few weeks of inactivity really, has not made me fatter, which i am fortunate in the sense that i have a HIGHHH metabolic rate.
Which is good! I mean who would want to eat 10 pounds of food and get 5 pounds of it in fats?
Hell yea.
I just want to get the hell out of my HOUSE and go to the mall or something.
Yes. I WISH.
But, its hard for me to do so, considering the fact that i THINK my friends are busy.
Yes.
Oh yes, i miss Tampines Mall, Golden Village, and strangely, why am i missing SP?

Yes, the sad truth. I miss SP.
School of Business in fact.
I think i am sick, in the brain, in the mind.
To miss a school?

Uh. When the time comes where i have to go to school EVERYDAY, i will probably hate it. Nod nod.

Results are out.
Laugh Out Loud. Yes, as expected, i did shitty for my modules.
Can you believe it?
I am an accountancy student and yet i got D- for Tax, Cost and FA.
A for report writing, b+ for gems, and C for business law.
Ohh~ the irony.
Maybe i will be better in mass comm.
Seems ive been getting As in LC modules.
But then again, my results are too shitty.

OH MAN, why am i talking about RESULTS when i so clearly hate them.
Ok, lets talk about something else.

What am i going to be when i grow older.
Accountant. Big bucks. Career opportunities. Promotion. Overseas. Big company. Success. Property. Cash. Credit Card.

YES. I AM MATERIALISTIC. NO LONGER THE INNOCENT SECONDARY SCHOOL BOYBOY WHO THINKS MONEY IS NOT IMPORTANT.

Back in the secondary school days, i used to think, "why do people want to make more money?"
"Isnt having enough money good enough? Why do people want more things, like condo, property, bonuses, stock options, shares, bonuses, car etc?"

Maybe im more matured now, going through a different phase of my adolescence.
I can better envisage the future now.
I can picture my self working in an MNC, donning office wear.
Yes. I am materialistic.
But, only to a certain extend.
I will not give up family ties for money.
I will not sell my soul, sell my conscienous for money.
I will not sacrifice or hurt anyone for the piece of paper.

I will only get richer only if its by my own merit and what i deserve.

On retrospect, i am just an ordinary singaporean.
I know no natural disaster, no poverty, no suffering.

And yet, a few thousand miles away, Pakistan and India are still reeling from the effects of the South Asia quake.
Hurricane Alpha is about to pound Florida.
People in New Orleans are still rebuilding their lifes from Katrina.

My view of the world is akin to a frog in a well.
I only look at the sky from Singapore, and think that this is all there is to earth.
I have never experienced looking at the clear blue sky, with the endless border of the sweet blue sky being exposed to my very eyes.
In singapore, high rise buildings block every part of it, leaving only a pathetic piece of sky to it.

Sometimes, i can envision my self as a ranger.
Walking through the desert of africa, climbing the mountains of the Himalayans, patrolling nature reserves taking care of animals.
Sometimes i can imagine my self being a vet, healing sick animals, bringing back life to them, to repay to them what humans have done to their environment in the maximum way i could.

Yes, life away from home can be exciting.
I always imagine my self being in australia.
The country, so big, so sparse, yet it feels so friendly, so warm, so liveable.
Even Sydney and Melbourne ranks above Singapore in the worlds most liveable cities.
I have always wanted to obtain a PR residency and work in Australia.
I have always wanted that.
The freedom.
Imagine your self owning a jeep, and driving off to the country side.
What you see there are large patches of land, or fields.
Or even, reaching the desert and observing the sights and sounds of it.
I have never experience this.
And i am going to make sure i will.

i mean JUST IMAGINE!
Everytime u feel so COOPED up in the city, like i feel like in Singapore, just take 1 hour to drive out of the city, and u feel that you belong back to nature.

Can you feel that?
Can you do that in Singapore?
No, i do not think so.

I NEED A LIFE!
I NEED TO ESCAPE FROM THIS PIGEON HOLE!
I NEED TO ESCAPE FROM THIS GRADE ORIENTATED SOCEITY.
I WANT TO ROAM THE WILDS, I WANT TO BECOME A RANGER.
I DO NOT WANT TO WORK IN AN OFFICE, BEING AN URBAN NUT.
There is NO point in living in a flat while i could live in one for the same price in australia.
A HOUSE.
Imagine waking up, going out from your front door, and facing a river?
Sigh. I cannot describe the tranquility, the serenity of it.
Singapore just doesnt have this.
Our rivers have become chanels, namely the Singapore river.
What is there to look at?

Where is the physical landscape to oogle at, to adventure within, to seek solace, to observe, to seek, to find a purpose in life, to find what you have been missing?
Bukit Timah.
160m high.
Enough for you to seek what you want, in Singapore only.
You seek something that is not in Singapores context, please go to the Himalayans or Mountain Everest or K-2.

what i want, is freedom.
pure freedom.
simple freedom.
without freedom i will die.
without freedom i cease to exist.
without freedom theres no point in living.
without freedom there is no point to staying in Singapore.
freedom is universal.
all beings want freedom.
i am no different.
My roots are here, my trunk and branches and leaves and fruits could be else where.
this is something my ancestors have long ago, while they were roaming the wilds as hunters and gathers.
despite the advances we have made, they still have something they i feel makes them more advanced then any of homo Sapiens.

-freedom-